Did Not Start: What’s All That About?

Well, today I was supposed to be running the Ultimate Trails 100 km race, but I’m not, I didn’t start, I  whimped out, I gave up before I got going and lots of other epithets that I could throw at myself. So what happened? After all, this was supposed to be one of the highlights of my year.

Well, as you may know, I took a bit of a tumble a few months back, it didn’t stop me runnng, but it did dent my confidence. More importantly, after the fall, I dropped the exercise and diet regime that I was following to get fit for the summer. Initially, this made sense; I was hurting too much to do the squats and such like and a period of comfort eating seeed in order. However, after a few weeks, as things stopped hurting, I never got quite back into doing the hard work that I need to do in order to be a slow runner.

I was lulled into a false sense of security, by running and enjoying the Tyne-Trail Ultra. I even finished hours faster than I expected to. However, running 70k over easy trails is a different kettle of fish to 100k on technical trails in the Lake District. When I tried to recce some of the UT100 route, I had a bit of a mare, to put it mildly. There were times when I was scared stiff.

So, I havered. I asked for advice and reassurance from the Facebook #run1000miles group and received both in bucketloads. I studied the race cutoff times in detail and reckoned that even if I couldn’t finish the whole race within the allowed time, I could still cover 40 miles or so, which wouldn’t be a bad day out. Then another complication hit; for a coupe of nights last week, I got less than two hours sleep. I could hardly keep my eyes open, much less run over a Lakeland pass starting at midnight. However, the next night I slept really well and I decided to go for it.

I had a bit of a wobble before setting off for the pre-race kit check, but I turned up with my bag and queued up to have my stuff inspected so that I could get my race number. The nice lady behind the desk, made sure that I had good waterproofs, spare food and the like. The she asked me about my gloves. I had forgotten my gloves!!! How stupid is that? And then I had a bit of a meltdown. I was emotional, I was unreasonable and I wasn’t very pleasant. Having no gloves is not a proble in Ambleside, there are hordes of shops selling outdoor gear. But I wasn’t thinking straight. In a moment of clarity, I realised that if I couldn’t cope with getting some spare gloves, I wasn’t ready to run 100k over tough ground. We made a half-hearted attempt to find some gloves but I knew the game was up. Sue and I had an ice cream and then I went back to the registration tent to apologise to the volunteer for being a twit. She couldn’t have been nicer and tried hard to convince me to run - but my head isn’t in the right place.

So, instead of starting a race at midnight I was tucked up in bed and when I woke up early, I toook Zaro for a run over Lowthwaite Fell, Little Sca Fell and Brae Fell. The Northern Fells are delightful running country and it did a lot for my confidence to get out on the hills and to enjoy myself so much.

Then, after breakfast, Sue and I (with Zaro) had a slow wander over Barf, Lords Seat and Brim Fell, it was a brilliant walk. So, all in all, it’s been a good day - just not the day, I expected.

Some thoughts:

• Knowing what I know now, I should have pulled out of the UT100, straight after my fall. ut I didn’t know that then.
• I love the Lake District and I love ultra-running, but for the moment, I’m not convinced that I should be running on technical terrain. There are plenty of other distance events there that dont involve me scaring myself silly on technical terrain. Perhaps, I’ll get back to the tough stuff, perhaps not. 
• I need to get back to the basics; hill repetitions, core body strength work and all of the stuff that makes it posssible for me to run in the hills. At the same time, I need to have fun; running needs to be enjoyable. Just doing the miles for the sake of it, doesn’t work for me.
• The Facebook #run1000miles group is awesome; the encouragement and advice that I’ve received on there is wonderful; thank you all.
• I need to stop and smell the roses (well, the heather and the foxgloves) more often.